Manufactured Stress

Dear God!

I am over 28,000 words, and yet my manuscript is not near 100 pages. What's up with that?

Anyway, despite the fact that I am only 2000 words from my goal, and maybe 6000 words from the end, and therefore have plenty of time, I am feeling the pressure of the countdown most acutely. This is probably a good thing, as it's keeping me furiously on pace, but I'm feeling less relaxed than ever.

At least, I'm not cocky.

Spenser is with his Mommy today at the 3 Day Album recording sessions. I thought I would enjoy the break from his rather needy pestering and appreciate some quiet solo time with Destine, who is a much less demanding companion. Strangely, though, I am missing his big fuzzy nose on my arm asking to be let out, and his daffy smile.

So, if you're reading this, G, skritch him would you?

And hey, Ril, give us an update, will you? I'm on tenterhooks, seriously.

Having done some rereading...

I think I'm making too much of my concerns.

I think the chapters are shorter because they, in essence, capture the same perod of time from two perspectives. Put together, they are the same length as most of the ones that came before.

I'm in the home stretch now, and about to write the Shootout at Clanton Stables.

This is probably going to be a long chapter, all from Harry's perspective.

Thank God. Writing this scene from Bear-On-Fire's perspective would be...scary. He's sort of dual aspected. There's Bear, the guy, and he's not that complicated. More than most of the immortals in the book though, his...whatever the thing inside him that keeps him alive...has a mind of its own.

And is bad-ass.

I think I should be done before six p.m, which surprises the hell out of me. I'm grateful though, for the time to revise the thing and polish some of the rough edges off. I'm sure that I will want to change some of the earlier parts of the book in light of some unexpected places I wound up at.

A worry I have

I have a structural worry. And maybe I'm making too much out of nothing.

It seems to me that my chapters have gotten shorter in this final segment of the book. Part of this is based in wanting to change the perspective between Bear and Harry now that they've met. I'm worried that I started the early part of the book with to leisurely a pace, and now I'm condensing to fit in the end.

I knew that certain parts of the end of this book would be revealed in the same way that in movies you'll see things like, "Harry finished school, and eventually wound up becoming the owner of a chain of drycleaners. He never did finish that cheeseburger." during the end credits of an eighties movie. And that's fine for these purposes, and something that lets me expand the book later if I choose to.

That set aside, I'm worried that I'm not spending enough time building to the climax. Then again, maybe life is like that too.

Anyhow. Back to it.

First Draft

I have come to the end of my outlined plot and I am 9,500 words short of my goal. I am cautiously optimistic though because I have about thirteen hours to re-read, edit, and add more things to it.

I may not feel so optimistic when I finish reading the draft. We'll see.

More as I realize that I am either insane or brilliant.

Eighteen Hours of Sleep

I went to bed early yesterday since my headache would not leave me alone, and with the addition of three hours of napping -- also because of aforementioned headache -- I know I have something that I can blame for my crappy word count.

I find my self dilly-dallying today. My mind is still fuzzy, and my left eye feels puffy, like I've some how managed to physically overexert it. Sometimes, when I'm feeling insecure about doing stuff, my hypochondriac tendencies flare up with a vengeance.

I did have a moment of insight while I was drifting off last night, and I repeated it to myself about a hundred times so that it would stay with me when I woke up this morning. I think I will name my novel(la) Smoke and Mirrors. When it came to me, I realized that it fit in all of the right ways. I have tons of imagery that should make someone recall it as they read the book, and it should make people wonder whether the plot I've got with my little god is going to be real or fake, and what it means. It works, also, with the little bit of trickery that I throw in that isn't directed at Dahlia, but at the cultists themselves.

So, in case you missed it in amongst those ramblings. I have a title. Now I just need to finish it. Wish me luck.

It's half-past midnight

23746 is close enough to 25000 that I'm packing it in for the night.

In the next scene, Harry and Bear-on-Fire finally meet, and that's a pretty important scene so I'd like to be fully alert and awake for it.

I expect some bonding, and then the grisly climax. That will be followed by a condensed denoument that covers the sunset years of Harry's gunslinging career, and the final framing chapter.

The end is very much in sight, and the order of events is clear. Whether I can get there in 7000 words or not is my primary question.

If I can't make it in 7000, can I make it in 10000. If I need more than that, I'll be cutting my editing too short, and I desperately need that.

I'll resume tomorrow. Early, I hope.

Okay, I'm okay

For awhile there, I was worried that I might not make it to twenty thousand words today. It's been a bad day, though not as bad as Rilla.

Looking over my posts for the day was sort of funny. The abrupt shift from "Woo-Hoo!" to "D'oh!" is funnier to me now than it was before.

For awhile there I was gmail chatting anyone who'd fucking listen, just to try and maintain a little scope. Thanks to those who provided moral support.

My goal for the night is 25,000. I want the leeway tomorrow for a few reasons.

1) I want the freedom and time to go to 35,000-40,000 words if I need to.

2) I want as much editing time as I can squeeze in if I don't.

The best news of the day is that I finally have an ending I'm happy with.

Back to it.