A WINNER!

After much deliberation (and a generous amount of gin), I have declared the winner of the True Story (or make me believe you if it's not) contest to be Anndraya.

Anndraya, you need to tell me which batch of winnin's you'd like.

I'd like to give a nod here to Smarty Pants, who took the challenge (even though he said he wasn't going to) and then embetterulated it with a contest of his own. And because this not at all humble Supreme Ruler had so much fun with it, she is going to steal it.

Best opening line. Go.

I'll put up a voting poll thingummy. Enter as many times as you'd like. Best line wins, and sets the next challenge.

I AM SUPREME RULER

As I have declared myself, because I totally effing won that last textFIGHT. Since losers never decide the path history shall take, *I* will do that. Because I effing WON. Bitches.

So.

This textFIGHT, which is open to EVERYONE (I am an egalitarian supreme ruler), will be to tell me a story. It can be fiction; but you have to make me believe it really happened, whether or not it actually did happen. Something embarrassing that you did or that happened to you once, that time you were in danger...the time your mother did that thing with the kitchen appliances and it shocked you. I don't care what the story is, but you must present it as (as the book snobs say,) literary non-fiction. Again, whether it actually *is* fictional, I don't care. Nobody will know but you if it *actually* happened.

It doesn't even have to be something that happened to *you*. Just something that happened which you know about.

Length, girth, and volume is completely up to you. I should prefer prose, but if you'd like to write a narrative poem, you go right ahead. I shall be offering a prize for the winner of this competition. I shall send the victor something of mine or something of my creation, whether that's a selection of books from my library, or a batch of cookies, I don't yet know. Perhaps the entrants should comment on what sort of prize they would like, from the examples given below.

The deadline for this contest is March 31th. Extra points will be given to any entrant who brings a new textFIGHTer to the board.

Here are the judging criteria:
Spelling/Grammar - if it's readable, I'm good. No points awarded for good grammar/spelling.

Content - 25 points

Style - 25 points

Bringing in a new textFIGHTer - 30 points

Entering textFIGHT for the first time - 50 points

I know this doesn't add up to 100. I'm a writer, not a mathematician.

LET'S GET IT ON!

Possible prizes:
1. Batch of cookies (alert cenobyte to any food sensitivities/allergies)
2. Batch of books (from cenobyte's library)
3. Batch of socks (home-made; may take time)
4. Batch of bats (I'm kidding. I want to keep my bats)

**Addendum: If you'd prefer to send me your submission by email, you may do so at c3n0byte at gmail dot com. I will post it in the comments section here, but you may wish to remain anonymous or some such silly thing.

Competition?

Broken Pencil's Indie Writers' Deathmatch seems like a good thing to promote on TextFIGHT.

Wait. I think they stole our idea!

To the batcave!

Broken Pencil Indie Writers' Deathmatch

Also, a poetry contest for yooots.

On the heels of G's entry, I got this from the ...League of Canadian Poets. Not as much steampunk there as you'd imagine, unfortunately.

The Poetic Licence Contest for Canadian Youth 2009 

The League of Canadian Poets, a national not-for-profit poetry organization founded
in 1966, invites Canadian youth to participate in its Poetic Licence Contest. 

There are two age categories, junior (grades 7-9) and senior (grades 10-12). 

First place poems in each category will receive a cash prize of $350, second place
winners will receive $300 and third place winners will receive $250. 

All winning poems will be published in the League of Canadian Poets' e-zine,
Re:verse at www.youngpoets.ca. All winners will receive Poetic Licence certificates
and student membership in the League of Canadian Poets for one year. 

Deadline: January 15, 2009. 

Entry Guidelines 

1. All submissions should be sent by e-mail to readings@poets.ca with the subject
Poetic Licence Contest for Canadian Youth. 

2. There are two age categories: Junior, grades 7 - 9 and Senior, grades 10 - 12 

3. Poems must be previously unpublished and must be your own work. 

4. Length of each poem submitted must not exceed 50 lines. Limit 2 poems per poet. 

5. Each submission should include the poet's name, address, and phone number, age,
grade, name of school, and the titles of the poems entered. 

6. Poems should not be sent as attachments, but as plain text files in the body of
the message. 

7. There is no entry fee. 

8. Winners will be announced during National Young Poet's Week in April and posted
on the League's websites www.poets.ca and www.youngpoets.ca. Announcements will be
sent to the media, and the winners will be notified by mail and email. 

Copyright remains with the poet. Winners will be asked for the first rights to
publish their work. Should an entry be published elsewhere during the course of the
contest, we ask that the entrant notify the League immediately. Revisions on any
poem will not be accepted after it has been entered. All decisions of the jury are
final. Contest is open to Canadian citizens and landed immigrants. Members of the
League's National Council, staff or the contest judges or their families are not
eligible to enter these competitions. 

* Incomplete submissions will not be considered, please read guidelines carefully. 

Ingel Madrus
Communications & Projects Manager
The League of Canadian Poets
920 Yonge Street, Suite 608
Toronto, ON M4W 3C7
Phone: 416-504-1657 / Fax: 416-504-0096
readings@poets.ca
www.poets.ca