Behold I have returned to you from my exile bearing a new message of truth!
The man who has proclaimed himself God-Emperor is not the real Ryan States! He is an impostor set upon us by an evil group of elite individuals bent upon world domination through him. I dare not identify the group for the safety of my family and friends but lets us just say it rhymes with Billuminati.
The Ryan States we all know and love would not ask us to dance like trained monkeys to these false demands of "peace" and "brotherly love". NO! He would in fact encourage our petty bickering and strife. He would join us in the mocking of poor grammar and punctuation mistakes. He would rake us across the hot coals of self-doubt and ego-crushing, knowing it would burn away the impurities and forge us into loquacious and verbose word-smiths. There is no way my Ryan States would have allowed all the spelling mistakes I have slipped in over the last few entries go without comment. The Ryan States I love would never allow his cherished textFIGHT to become a haven of wussiness.
And so I entreat you my fellows, join with me. Tear down the false-giant-penis-idols of this "God-Emperor" and unite against his unholy reign of terror on this site. Together we shall find and free the real Ryan States and bring him back to his rightful place in our lives and in our hearts. The man who cannot control his pants, who loses food in his beard, and is nearly as foul mouthed and dark humoured as I. Who will stand with me?
-Gordon, rebellion leader and friend of the true Ryan States
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