Pants So Magnificent

Continuing Excepts from the Book of the Prophet Gordon...

For his pants were unlike any those seen before by mortal man. Unto us in all his glory the God-Emporer did bring God's own pants. None since Prometheus had dared defy laws of Heaven as did the God-Emporer, for none had so heard the plight of man.
"Unto you do I bring pants of comfort!" declared the God-Emporer. And all who witnessed th pants were silent. "For these are the pants of a god! A crotch which is is not overly tight but doth still provide support. A waist which shall remain a consitent size upon infinite washings even if thou shouldst accidentally dry them on the hottest setting. They are madeth from a material spun from the very dreams of vigins and shalt never wrinkle. And they doth give a fine curveture to any ass they may be placed upon invoking desire in all those around."
The Prophet cried out, "Praise be to the God-Emporer for he hath brought these pants unto us and made a covenant with us that we may where such garments of comfort!"

-Gordon, Prophet of the God-Emporer