Successes and Failures

My big plan for last week? Those two things that I needed to get done? They're done. I also managed to do them in the appropriate time frame. So, that's my success, albeit small.

Last week, Ryan wrote a stirring essay about the ramifications of failure when you set your own goals. I am not going into the contest with hopes of winning, or even being on the short list. For me, winning will be completing the novel(la) in the three-day deadline that we've got set for us. That being said, one of the most liberating experiences of my life was failing at something that was important to me. I learn a lot about my limitations when I fail, and I learn to give myself leeway when I can't do something I thought I'd be able to do.

Par Example: My M.A. was supposed to be a thesis. It was going to be a grand eighty page discussion of Douglas Coupland's works. That didn't happen, and it was largely due to my own inadequacies as a scholar. So, my M.A. turned into a twenty-some page article about William Gibson (and taking a few more classes). This was for the best, and I learned a lot about my attention span, my work ethic, and my place (or lack thereof) in University. Letting go of the idea of living the life of a scholar was incredibly painful, but it let me explore a new path and find new avenues of fulfillment. Really, the failure was just that, but it liberated me.

If things turn sour over the week-end, and I don't finish the book, I will be sad. I will learn, however, about what sort of writer I am, and that's not nothing. It won't be as exhilarating as having a finished work in my hand after three days of intense writing, though.